If, like me, you think flying to Europe on Korean Air Lines is a good idea because you fly to Korea one day, then onward the next day, and inbetween get put up in a hotel for free, you may want to think again. If, like me, you think this means a night to see a bit of Seoul, you'll be disappointed to learn that although Incheon International Airport may SERVE Seoul, it isn't actually in Seoul. Or even near Seoul, at least not in the sense that, say, Woolongong is near Sydney. If, like me, you decide this is OK, because the hotel you stay at is the Hyatt Regency, which is By Far The Fanciest Hotel I've Ever Stayed In, you may be interested to know that its windows don't open, my room smelled like upholstery shop and the airconditioning will take nearly two hours to drop the temperature by one degree Celsius. If, like me, this makes you want to go for a nice walk as soon as you arrive, I hope you like airport hotels and a handful of convenience stors and bars, because that's pretty much all Incheon has to offer. Then it ends. Afterbarely ten minutes stroll you will come to a building amusingly marked "Enhanced Restricted Area", at which the enhancement seems to be that the footpath just stops and the road becomes a freeway. And that's it.

If, like me, you're feeling adventurous, you might like to backtrack and walk down between the Monster Driving Range (3 floors of hitting golfballs and wider than your hotel) and the Strangely Non-Linear Golfcourse. Both are floodlit at night to ease recognition and hamper seeing anything else. Now, I don't know Korean (at all, which for Mr. Tryandlearnafewwords here is a bit strange) but I have a strong suspicion that the small boy who pointed at me and giggled at this point was doing so simply because of my big, blonde, shaggy haired non-Korean-ness and not saying something like "Hey look, Chad Kroger's less-successful twin". Disturbingly his mother responded with something less "It's rude to point, darling" and more "Don't attract his attention, he may eat you". Thus having amused the locals a quick stumble in the sudden darkness of the We Couldn't Be Bothered Finishing This Bit end of the road will leave you looking down at what looks very much like a Los Angeles Flood Control System aqueduct (which we all know from The Movies if not The Personal Experience).

If, like me, you reach this point and ask yourself "Am I allowed to be here? Would I be breaking a law or social norm of some kind if I just bounded across the rubble and grass and went for a stroll in the Massive Drainage Canal That Could Double As An Extra Runway?" then rest easy my friend, because having personally seen someone jogging along it to allay my fears I can now guarantee that no-one gives a shit. Why? You are now standing at the edge of what is essentially a swamp maquerading as an intercontinental transport hub. You can head left or right. I personally chose right, and left left for the morning, daylight, and another blog entry. To the right the canal eventually intersects another and then drains into the sea under a freeway bridge, where mesh stops the foolish or shortsighted from accidentally walking straight into the water or any further, for that matter. If, like me, you prefer to walk along the hard baked dirt road-of-sorts on the grassed land along the near side of the canal, you'll eventually climb higher and higher until you are level with the opposite embankment, which is the freeway one would reach if driving past the "Enhanced Restricted Area". This also means you reach a dead end when the intersecting canal appears, but you can look back and have as nice a view as it is possible to have of your hotel and its neighbours at night.

If, like me, you are too lazy to hike all the way back into the searing glare of the driving range inferno to walk back along the road it is possible to take a shortcut across the empty land between you and the Hyatt, but. By now it will probably be really dark, which is all the more reason to stick to the dirt track, at least until nearly halfway back towards the driving range. Why? Well because those reeds off to your left? They're growing in water. Like I said, swamp. About halfway back along the canal is a fairly obvious intersection of the dirt tracks, and at this point you can head "in" towards the hotels. The point you'll want to aim for is more or less just left of the Best Western (which is just on the next block from the Hyatt, so as near as dammit to a straight line back "home"). Once the dirt track starts heading away from the hotels again (it curves left) and back towards the canal-meets-sea arrangement you'll have to leave the safety of the track and head out across what may at first appear to be shallow ponds, but is actually flat land ready for the next stage of development which has been covered in nylon mesh. That's what makes it look wet in the darkness. Just next to the Best Western there is a panel missing from the fence so with a quick flail through the shrubbery beyond you'll emerge in a construction contractor's carpark, having successfully had An Adventure in what would otherwise be the most boring place on the planet.

If, like me, this bit of traipsing through at least a part of Incheon not everyone bothers with leaves you keen to find out what's for dinner (Korean Air plump for a dinner and a breakfast as well as a bed for the night), you may need to cancel that plan if, like me, you arrive back to your stuffy, chemical-smelling room, promptly feel ill and spend the evening seriously considering smashing that f***ing window.